I asked Paula how long it took for her to find her bearings, and she replied: While she had obviously been finding life challenging, it was also abundantly clear that she loved her husband dearly and had struggled profoundly to cope with his death. She told me: “You are almost invisible … you kind of go in the shadows as the carer.” ![]() Paula said she got used to people always asking after her husband and forgetting about her. She was his nurse, driver, carer, cook and “bottle-washer”. She had been his carer for over ten years, as he slowly declined from a degenerative condition. Paula, 72, told me how four years ago she’d lost her husband. ![]() ![]() We sat in the living room, taking in the impressive view from her balcony and our conversation unfolded. She welcomed me into a modern, comfortable home. Paula* had not been living in her retirement apartment for very long when I arrived for our interview.
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